I have 9 days left before my departure for New Zealand and it is hard to explain my current state of emotions at this point of time.
These recent weeks have been pretty stressful with making arrangements for packing, trying to decide what to bring in one suitcase (a very tough decision, let me tell you), travelling arrangements in New Zealand, having farewell dinners with family and friends and stressing myself out with a lot of “what ifs”.
Sometimes when I get really emotional, I think to myself that this must be the reason why work holiday visas have an age limit..because is it just me or is it just that much harder to leave when you are older? Maybe it is easier to adjust to uncertainties and leaving your loved ones when you are younger but I am afraid that despite my adventurous spirit, I am finding out that I have my weak moments too.
Stressing out over the uncertainty have been a constant with me these last few months. As the day gets closer though, the worries come overwhelmingly to me.
Did I make the correct choice in leaving behind my potential career pathway? Will I be able to survive in a whole new foreign environment? Will I be able to find a job soon enough to sustain myself for my stay there? Will I even have enough money to survive? Why did I even decide to go in the first place? So many doubts..so little answers..
With each purchase that I make for this trip, I agonise over the decision for a long time, days or weeks even, with the thought of my limited funds.
Some are not a necessity but they make me feel happy so I buy them anyway. Some I ponder for a long time because I am not familiar with the conditions overseas.
Am I such a worrywart to be worrying excessively and thinking too much over making decisions?
It’s 1am here and I am just penning down my thoughts because the worry gets to me at such times and I cannot sleep entertaining these thoughts.
As the day gets nearer, I hope that I would be able to get settled soon..ok, i do feel a bit better now. I shall go off to sleep, goodnight!
Lifetomyfullest 
You’ll be fine! Change is always hard and it’s only natural for you to think about these things before the move. But trust me, it will be great! I moved from Singapore to Scotland many many years ago and from there I’ve lived in England, Spain, China and now America. Yes the worry will always be there before the move but once you are at your destination, you will start to feel better! Best of luck on your venture!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha, thanks for the reassurance. I think I know that I will do fine once I am there but sometimes, you just can’t help worrying and trying to prepare as much as you can before you leave. It’s probably me stressing myself out but I shall try to keep calm for the next week or so..hehe…:)
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think such thoughts are just normal for someone being in a situation as you are in now! Don’t worry too much, you will see it will turn out just fine after some time there 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha, I hope so. Thanks for the encouragement, I shall try to keep myself sane until I leave for the trip. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Have a safe trip, Sha. I think when we’re older we get more comfortable where we are and appreciate what we have, so leaving might be harder especially if we feel happy and settled. Worrying may not be a bad thing – planning is always good. But don’t worry too much 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! I think you said it better than me..haha…at this age, I wonder if I really need to do this to myself..I can’t wait to get on from preparation to the actual doing. I am stressing myself out with all these preparations…but I shall try not to worry too much, I feel better now that I’ve put it all out here. Thanks for the encouragement! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Have a safe trip! NZ is on the hip zone to visit now, looking forward to reading your NZ posts 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha, is it? I suppose there has to be one trending each year. I am pretty excited for this trip but not over all the preparations for it…that I can live without but I shall have to hang on for a little while more I suppose…counting down! 🙂
LikeLike
This time is stressful I know, but I am so excited for you! What an amazing adventure you are set to take! I cannot wait to read about your time in your new home! Good Luck, safe travels, and have fun!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha, thanks! I hope that I will be less stressed over these uncertainties once I get going, counting down! 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good for you to go after your dream Sha! Live with no regrets. its normal to be fearful. What’s the worst that happens. You try it, you don’t like it and you come back. Far better than living your life wondering what if. Cheering for you all the way!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks! I feel better after ranting though, sometimes it is hard to explain to friends who don’t really understand, especially when you are already at my age…haha 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person